Jose Thomas

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JUST WANTING TO BE HAPPY
Sunday 06th May, 2012



     

 

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Dear Friends,

It is 10 o’clock in the morning on Saturday here in New York, 8 p.m. in India. I have been in New York for the last three weeks, working very hard, attending to my business and also paying attention to my personal life. As I was thinking about what to write in this blog, I thought of writing about “Just wanting to be happy”.

We all pass through different phases of life and sometimes feel that we are not happy because of our circumstances, because of the unexpected that sometimes comes upon us. I would like to write on how I feel about this. I woke up quite early in the morning, on Saturday-5.20 am New York time, as I was feeling thirsty. Everyone in the house was sleeping and the time in India was about 2.45 p.m. on Saturday. As I woke up I saw a text message on my cell phone. I read it with dismay; it wasn’t good news for me. In fact I was expecting a decision to be made in India, with regard to a matter related to my business. I was so sure of receiving good news when I went to bed on Friday night. I had the hope of hearing good news on awakening. On the contrary, the message was negative. I did not get what I wanted. Immediately sorrow began to creep in and I tried to fight it.

I had a glass of water and came back to bed. My initial reaction was to pick up the phone and call my counterparts in India to enquire what went wrong and to find solutions, because I was trying to make myself happy. However, good sense prevailed and I realized that for one to be happy, one needs to be calm and patient. Hence I decided to go back to sleep. I woke up three hours later and then started to tackle this particular problem. If I had not taken this step, I would have been an unhappy person in the early hours of the day and that too on a week end. It would have spoilt my entire weekend, whereas I was able to go back to sleep, wake up and take control of the situation.

We all know that everyone desires to be happy. “I just want to be happy” is what everyone says all the time. To me, this is like a hole on the floor covered with a rug because, once you say it, the implication is that you are not a happy person. Just saying “I want to be happy” is not how one should define it. Happiness is something we achieve by being specific and focussed in what we do and having a plan on how to get there. Just staying out of a problem or running away from one is not a solution. I wrote about what happened to me this morning. I have had many incidents in the past that has made me unhappy. However I knew how to quickly recover from it because I had a plan in place.

I have encountered various problems, felt dejected and even got angry and lost the positive thought process on many occasions. For example, when I try calling a customer, most often I find the call goes to voice mail. I leave them a voice message but never hear back from them. Should I get unhappy with this? Initially I used to, but not anymore because that is the reality of life and I learnt, over a period of time, how to get over it. Try to alleviate some of the uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions that we feel by trying to be positive. It works. I have tried many tricks in life to keep myself happy because I like to be happy, as, I’m sure you would too. I feel we create unhappiness by not defending ourselves from things that come against us in advance because we don’t have a plan in place.

Some times when we get unhappy it becomes a burden on our souls. We get too engrossed with these worries, which only contribute to our unhappiness, which creates a little hole in our souls. This is quite natural. It happens. We are human beings and we are able to live with many holes in our soul, pretending that we are happy. Pleasure, love, compassion, and fulfilment – these things do not leak out of our souls. They have to be natural, just like how well you express yourself to someone else that you are happy, putting on a pleasant face, being positive even though you are carrying burdens in your soul (which is a ‘hole’ as I would call it).

There is no point in spreading unhappiness to others just because are in a situation that you are unhappy about. Unhappiness is natural in life. Everyone that you see in this world is not a happy person. We also, some times, rather most of the time, have to be prepared to face unhappy situations and learn to not project that unhappiness on your face.

Recently on a flight to Bangkok, I was able to get another perspective on what happiness means. This perspective came from none other than my good friend, Mohanlal. It was a late night flight and we were tired but we still had enough energy to talk about various things. Among these topics, I brought up ‘happiness’ and asked Lal what it meant to him. Naturally, his perspective seemed to be very artistic in nature, clearly reflecting the kind of person he is. Lal taught me that happiness need not just be an expression of joy or limited to a smile. Happiness is an ocean of various emotions, feelings, thoughts and experiences. To everyone it holds a different meaning. What generally might make one person happy could mean sorrow to another, just as everything else in life.

Friends, in the past 35 years, right from the young age of 17, I have encountered lots of unhappy situations. Life is very funny. One can also make it funny. We can convert problems into funny situations and even make them work to our advantage. I have done this, especially this morning. I got very angry when I woke up and saw the text message, but I did not give in. This is how I would like to conclude writing this blog. I was able to resolve the problem that I encountered this morning by trying to stay positive and I made sure that this problem was resolved. My happiness is back with me and I am going out to have a great time in New York City, keeping myself prepared for further bad news that could come, but at the same time being prepared to defend myself and keep myself happy. I want all of you to be happy and cheerful.

Best of luck!

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Responses to
 S.Subramanian says:
As every blog of yours this also gives me a lot of positive attitude towards life. Like summer Vs winter, day Vs night, good Vs bad etc all the world vibrations has two sides. Happiness or unhappiness is nothing that comes from outside but is the emotional feeling you attach to the outside thing that happen to you. Once you know that happiness or vice versa is not going to be permanent you will not lose anything but can find out ways to come out of it. Once again thanks for sharing your views and feeling with the members of Choice family.
 
 Aaradhana says:
"This too shall pass"...seasons change on the outside....but if we are postive and rock solid on the inside...then we truly stay Alive.Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery ....but today is a gift ...thats why we call it Present! hey Sir....legends like you continue to be our inspiration!! Zigma I was told is more than infinity....wishinng you zigma of inner peace and joy !One Life....lets make the most of it.
 
 Parmod Kumar says:
Thank you JT. Now it's almost an year I am reading your blog and it gives me immense pleasure to know about you every week/month. We have exchanged few Emails too. You have motivated me on some of very sad moments. Looking forward for more. Thank you again.
 
 Praveen Nair says:
Hi Mr Jose, I totally agree to your thoughts and understand that the way we dress up to an occasion similarly we need to dress up our souls or rather mind in order to overcome a particular situation which makes us uncomfortable and thereby being positive. One thing which has always been a confusion to me is how to face uncomfortable people as sometimes it becomes a mandatory and we place ourselves in such a situation that we can not neglect them. The sense of communication or say interactive communication plays a very vital role as when to speak and what to speak is important. Please advice as you being a businessman can be the best person to advice on this.
 
 Anurag Khanna says:
Extremely well illustrated and inspirational. This is sure to infuse the desired attitude to all that read this blog.
 
 Rejimol says:
Dear Sir,,,, i always use to read your blogs....i have always felt you are an ocean of positive energy......a born fighter....who is ready to face anything and everything that comezz on your way....... i have heard your inspirational speech in 1996 years back....when my elder sister was working in your organization...Choice House .... seriousily Sir... u r simply the best motivator........ your wordz have got a magical power within it.......
 
 Giji Philip says:
Good Morning to you Sir from New York City!! I am not sure what part of the world you are now, that’s why I included the City where I am. I have been seeing your blog for quiet sometimes, ever since I liked your page in Facebook. But none of the postings touched my heart as this one! So I decided to comment on this. Let me start with a quote; “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” ~ Gordon B. Hinckley Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions. Thus happiness depends upon us!! Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. People like me, who a paycheck-to-paycheck worker, seems like to have a sense of control over their lives. Because, I have the power to make me happy or unhappy today! I can choose which it shall be; “Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I am going to be happy in it.” At times, I sometimes go through situations like, “a woman who laughs and talks a lot and seems very happy is also the woman may cry herself to sleep” , but in those times I think of a people who struggle with poverty and think of the blessings that I have by the grace of God, will make me happy! Sir, in your case should I say “So the guy in the corner office may actually be more bummed out than those of us in the cheap seats.”? In conclusion, like you said in this posting, try to stay positive and be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind Sir! Have a great day!
 
 Jomy says:
Nice blog..one should always be prepared for the worst case scenario so that it doesn't give us heartbreaks. If problem comes without any warning one should always have alternate solutions to tackle(in case the 1st one fails). Be confident that I can come out of it. Nothing can harm you more than your own negative thoughts. So be positive. Thanks !
 
 K K Jaganivasan says:
Life is always a mixture of happiness and sorrow, with ups and downs. It is better to have positive attitude always to be happy. Thanks. Jagan
 
 K K Jaganivasan says:
Life is always a mixture of happiness and sorrow, with ups and downs. It is better to have positive attitude always to be happy. Thanks.
 
 Maria Manjula Mathew says:
'Just Want to be Happy" It really set me thinking to change my attitude when am unhappy in situations, unsure in my decisions. After reading it, I am enlightened to know that I am not the only one who is suffering, but at the same time one has to come out of the situation, out of one's own will power, to be happy and make all the others also experience happiness, instead of brooding over matters that matter nothing at the end of it all.
 
 barney says:
Pretty! This has been an extremely wonderful article. Thanks for providing these details.
 
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